Q: does my key have to be programmed to new ecm

There is a long, long decision tree in the Factory Service Manual (FSM) to deal with issues like the one you have and it is only at the very end of that tree, that you consider ECM failure. Indeed, ECM failures are so rare that half of all ECM’s returned to re-builders as "warranty exchanges" are in fact perfectly good. If ECM failure is suspected, if you are working with a Toyota dealership all they have to do is swap in a known good ECM to rule that component in or out. They could also first try re-flashing your ECM (that’s easy).

The point is there is a lot to rule out and in your case you have several powertrain codes available, that if tracked down and resolved, could resolve the symptoms you are having. What I suggest is you request a check engine light diagnostic. A certified mechanic from YourMechanic would track down the causes of the three codes you have cited and first get that resolved. If problems continue, the mechanic would just simply follow the remainder of the decision tree in the FSM until this is resolved. If you have further questions or concerns, do not hesitate to re-contact YourMechanic as we are always here to help you.